AL QAEDA DELENDA EST
Illustration courtesy of Why Mommy is a Democrat
The idea that we are going to win this war is an idea that unfortunately is just plain wrong.
As it now stands, the War on Terror's illiberal critics and unlawful combatants certainly appear to be in agreement on one thing: Both demand a fixed timetable for our military's withdrawal from the field of battle. I believe it extreme folly to hand the enemy such a predetermined calendar announcing our departure. If the goal is to apply pressure to the resistance, why alleviate their job-related stress? That isn't what we mean by deadline.
However, I do feel there are a few telltale signposts that can be viewed as bellwethers of our progress in this marathon struggle against state-sponsored terrorism -- you just have to know where to look. Remember, you heard them here first.
TOP TEN SIGNS OF VICTORY IN
THE GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR
10. Bin Laden and Zawahiri discovered living together in a cave on Brokeback Mountain.
9. Cindy Sheehan puts her money where her mouth is, enlists with insurgency.
8. Saddam Hussein finally comes out against torture, begins hunger strike. No one tries to stop him.
7. NY Times announces it's run dry of national security secrets to reveal.
6. Four out of five Middle Eastern despots said to be scared sheikless of being next on Bush ‘to do’ list.
5. "Muhammad & Ali" debuts on Cartoon Network, becomes highest rated television program in entire Middle East.4. Top JAG lawyers review Geneva Conventions, conclude we are legally obligated to J-DAM al-Jazeera -- Time Now.
3. Mainstream press declares war on terror unwinnable. U.S. military yawns, goes back to work.
2. Senate Democrats conclude every campaign speech with
"Delenda est Al Qaeda!"
And the number one sign of victory in the Global War on Terror…
1. Jack Bauer in '08!
Hey, it could happen...
COPYRIGHT 2006 BUCK SARGENT